Evil Plots

ive been with glenn for a year and a half now. i love him sooooo much, but i still feel disappointing. my self esteem flew out the window when jeff dipped out and said incredibly mean things to me. and i can never ever get it out of my mind. i feel like i will never be good enough, pretty enough, and everything else. it eats at me the thought that glenn can find someone better and most likely will.
why the hell does the brain always keep these stupid little thoughts alive? for fucks sakes it keeps me up at night sometimes.
when did i get old? someone asked how old i was and i said 25... then i wondered... am i really 25? and i'm still wondering if i'm good enough.

man ive had a live journal for almost 7 years....
and most of the posts show how INSANE my life is.

but ive stopped writting in this so much, so you are missing out.

its good to re read things and realize how much things change.

man i am so different

the past three months have been a lifetime. ive been through so much. finally to be happy with someone and feel the exact same way about everything is incredible. we arent moving too fast or i feel like i have more love then him... everything is perfect, as if it were meant to be.
who knows how i will react when i read this in the future... but i figure i would write it down, so i wouldnt forget how happy i am.

i havent used this thing in such a loooong time.

ive been really sick... on my birthday week, i'm sick. how lame is that

speaking of birthday....

saturday coming up... come to a costume party... it will be fuuunnnnn

friday go to roxannes for a traded to racine show... which just so happens to be on my birthday.

being sick sucks. i think i scared my boyfriend off, he hates me.

yeah i got into another competition

i wanna be Miss July...

mm hmm, help me out!




p.s.

GO ARGENTINA!!

GO HEAT!!!

i won a chance to become a suicidegirl beauty queen. so please vote for me so i can win cool stuff. i would greatly appreciate all your support.

http://www03.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz_IM.php?quizname=050911010141-933057&email=&c=1&a=01


if you think you know me well... take the god damn quiz

</a>justinfatuation and oleeander go out? that would be crazy
5.~Have you ever liked notscotthull? i like him
6.~If sweetncute69 died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know? that shes my sister
7.~Would minataurman and mackdaddymoe make a good couple? hahahahahaa TOTALLY!
8.~Describe byoteki in 3 words: wonderful, funny, and charming
9.~Do you think briandurden is hot? hotter then hell
10.~Would sweetncute69 and xenmity make a lovely couple? hahaha not at all
11.~What do you think of when you see oleeander? I LOVE HIM!
12.~Tell me something humiliating about mackdaddymoe: no, that would suck
13.~Do you know any of underwearhands's family members? almost all of them
14.~What's since1983's favorite color? she looks good in green
15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is ohhowlovely? 100000
16.~What would you do if xdreaml just professed their undying love for you? i fucking knew it, you lesbo
17.~What language does justinfatuation speak? english
18.~Who is risababy going out with? her husband
19.~Is grininidiot a boy or a girl? boy... sometimes
20.~Would roberthoskins and xdreaml make a good couple? hahahaha NOWAY!
21.~Who do you think laurenloveless would be great with from this list? with me
22.~When was the last time you talked to briandurden? yesturday
23.~What is notscotthull's favorite band? his band
24.~Does minataurman have any siblings? nope
25.~Would you ever date underwearhands? haha been there done that
26.~Would you ever date byoteki? no he's taken
27.~Is laurenloveless single? no, she's mine
28.~What is since1983's last name? muller
29.~What is roberthoskins's middle name? olas
30~What is xplayx's fantasy? i dont know
31.~Where does grininidiot live? with brian
32.~Would you make out with imaprettylush? haha been there done that too
33.~Are circe67 and underwearhands best friends? nope
34.~Does byoteki like since1983? yes
35.~How did you meet roberthoskins? through t-bone, i'm sure he's happy he met me
36.~Is briandurden older than you? yeah he's old as fuck
37.~Is xenmity the sexiest person alive? he thinks he is

CHI-CA-GO!

yeah manana, chicago. bitches!

you make me vomit.

You Are Subversion!
You are systematic and secretive. Sometimes even very calculating. Most everyone trusts you but they have no idea what really goes on in your head. You are capable of being nice or mean, whatever a situation calls for. You look out for #1.

What Naughty My Little Pony Are You?

my sister got into a bad car accident... and i have to work instead of seeing her... because my manager hates me.

shiiiiit!

okay so this weekend's theme is swing back into the 50's, and i am dressed like a rockabilly dude in pretty red lipstick.

now in a normal job, a 50's theme weekend might sound like fun... but in MY job tonight's sock hop will mean a bunch of naked people in socks.

and the new uniforms for the beach bar and sports are are um... well... kinda slutty.

the man with 2 first names that loooooves to bother me so fucking much might be getting kicked out. he was caught doing it in the conversation pool... YUCK!

besides my job...

richard is coming back!!! he said he would see me next weekend or the one after... but i am going to orlando that sunday. we'll work around it. i have to see richard, he is the funniest coolest guy EVER! getting drunk and listening to his alaska war stories will be a blast.

and i think tricia should have a damn phone! fucker!

in other news. going to the castle is fun sometimes but the senator shouldnt be allowed there, he is REALLY gross and creepy. atleast put some damn clothes on!! really it shouldnt bother the girl that works at a nudist resort, but it fucking does.


the end

apparently i look like alysa milano... gee thanks you nude pervert.

yeah i am at work board outta my mind.

haha the nudist have found interesting ways to wear the american flag.... mostly sequence which is totally cute. i need to design nudist clothes... yeah that sounds weird. but there is such a thing!! Clothing for the free sprited...

yeah so are there any good sales out there today... i need to leave here early so i may participate in shopping enjoyment.

so i have had my fun... thank you friends that visit and dance with me...

also the seminole hard rock casino, fuckin rules... and i know the owner of the club, which means vip and free drinks.

yes i got drunk as hell


naked people are grrrreat.

and i must go to class

i know being bitter is lame...

so i made jeff skip a day of work to help me get our stuff out of our old apartment... stupid ass he really should have helped me earlier when i cried so hard. but nothing like threatening to keep someone's stuff and they come running to help ya out.

so i finally found my dream apartment. no washer and dryer but my dad lives close enough where i can use his. so i have a patio overlooking a lake. relaxing! which i most definately need!... i am going to plant orchids. because theyre my favorite. the best part is cathy lives across the lake... so when she wants to visit she can hop into our boat (that we will invest in) and float outside of my patio and play the dawsons creek soundtrack. while i laugh i notice an alligator heading her way... and then a huge told you so will leave my lips as she franticly tries to paddle to safety.

lord i hate the heffers at my school.

anywho... everyone should visit the new apartment. we will barbeque! someone will because i dont think i am good at it. never tried.

well lovers and haters... i have art history now... stay cool.

fashion design?! I should be a doctor... or a surgen

i will make the best of my AA though.

oh i will need a place to stay for 2 weeks march 22 preferably in miami... cuz i am doing MIAMI FASHION WEEK you fuckers... be jealous.

yeah i get to work like a dog... or i get to just watch. i have to wait til my department head comes back from her honeymoon to tell me.

but i damn wish i had a room mate... i found the perfect apartment!! but its too expensive for just me. meaning its almost 700 bucks... but it has a washer and dryer water included and a deck... its absolutely beautiful.

damn i hate being poor.

well i love most of you....

good night. i have another class to go to... blarg

that is what i am getting. and noone will stop me!

the hair cut i mean.

dude.. i hate dudes.